…just the webblog of another follower of Jesus. Someone who is trying to figure out, what it is like, to live in a vibrant relationship with our Heavenly Father. Actually, this blog is not about me. It is about my Dad in Heaven. Maybe I just haven’t said that clearly enough over the last couple of months. You know what? I love Him! He is just, well, great… I guess. I’m on the move, moving further and further away from the identy this world is trying to press upon me. Seeking to get rid of any fear of men whatsoever. It still is kinda scary though. I’m miles away from being perfect, and yet still He loves me so much! Everytime I fall, He is there to pick me up. He is there to tell me: “Get up quickly, don’t stay laying on the ground in self-pity, condeming yourself. Cause I am not condeming you! So why should you?” He always engourages me to run back into his arms.

It is just the fact that I seem to be so impatient sometimes. Impatient with myself, impatient with the way Dad unfolds His plan in my life. And every now and then I was just fed up with trying my own best to have fellowship with Him. And it is only then that I realised again, that I started strifing again, where there is no need for that?!

It is just weird, this whole thing. And I’m always returning to just being his son. Nothing more and nothing less. A brother of Jesus and a son of God. Not to say “the Son of God”, but one of His sons.

You know, I read so many of these books from Bill Johnson over the last couple of monts. And they kinda made me feel weird. They are challenging and motivating on one hand. But on the other I sometimes just sit there and inside of me I cry out: “Why do I have to go through alls this theory?” I know Bill’s books weren’t meant to be theoretic. And much what I found in there was actually really practical. But it was just not the way I expected it to be. I need somebody who takes me by the hand and shows me all the mysteries of God. Bit by bit, step by step. It is not going to be Bill, though. It is gonna be Daddy Himself.

I’m sick of fearing this and that and this again. I’m sick of thinking, thinking more then I’m actually doing. A little healing of a headache of a colleaque at work is not good enough anymore, while there are so many people out there dying from cancer, where they simply shouldn’t die from cancer at all.

Will you follow Jesus with me? Are you in for the adventure? It is more then a game and it is more then just another thought. Is Jesus the One we follow? Some kind of rolemodel? Okay, then let us first start with admitting, that it is actually possible for us to walk in the same anointing, power and authority that He walked in, while He was on this earth. How? By being in connection with his Heavenly Dad all the time. How did He do that? With the help of the Holy Spirit that came down upon Him. And also by submitting His priorities unto the ones of His Father.

Okay, I gotta go. I’m humbly learning …. AGAIN.

Tom

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